


Life In A Daydream

by StrawberryBasketCase



Category: My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, M/M, Married Life, Minor Character Death, Mpreg, Prescription Drug Abuse, Sad, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-17 22:05:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11860563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawberryBasketCase/pseuds/StrawberryBasketCase
Summary: We as humans always walk along a tightrope. Some stroll smoothly with the help of our loved ones. While others feel the force of the harsh winds. Barely able to hang on.Only once they fall do they find that they are free to move around without restrictions of a rope, but with that freedom comes madness.Dallon and Gerard will find out what madness awaits them once they fall.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Fruit Babies!
> 
> OMG I thought I had uploaded this days ago, but it turns out I forgot. Oops? 
> 
> Anyhoo, this is another new story of mine (this one I will actually plan out) and it's been stuck in my head since last year. So not really new, but new to you guys. Well aside from that this will kinda be somewhat complex that's why I will work hard to see if I can pull this off. It's a sad story with a new found lovely ship of mine Gerallon! I know it's different and possibly weird to some, but I do hope you consider this at least worth a look. 
> 
> Warning: Minor Character Death
> 
> Enjoy!

“Urgh baby isn't it best you sleep on your back?” Dallon asked as he shifted underneath his pregnant husband. He was trying to get comfortable, but it was kinda hard with the extra weight. 

“No, I like it better over here next to my cuddle bear.” Gerard smiled as he snuggled closer to his chest. He was near the end of his pregnancy and that made him quite large. Only two weeks left to go.

“Yeah, but it was cool when you didn't weigh a ton.” Dallon giggled. Gerard sat up and hit him with a pillow.

“Do you hear that sweetie? You're farther says we're too fat to cuddle with him. Can you believe that?” He gasped as he rubbed his round belly. 

“Gee it was only a joke.” Dallon smiled and pulled him back down on him. “I could never get tired of my mama bear and little bear. Plus I could use the body heat.” He apologized as he rubbed his husband’s belly as well. 

“You better only be using my body heat mister.” Gerard gave him a suspicious glare. His hormones tend to make him very insecure. Not to say he wasn't before this, but all his feelings got multiplied by a hundred since he became pregnant.

“Of course Gee, your heat is all that will do. No one will ever compare to you.” Dallon smiled and kissed his forehead. Gerard began to tear up 

“Aww Dal, I love you.” He jumped up and kissed the other man hard. The tall man underneath pulled him in tight. Their lips always fit perfectly together. They couldn't get enough. 

“I love you too Gee, now let's get some rest.” Dallon yawned. Gerard yawned as well and agreed. They fell asleep in each other's arms.

~

Gerard awoke to a slight twinge in his stomach. He shifted a little to get back comfortable. The twinge soon turned to pain. And that pain became worse. He quickly sat up as it was harder to breathe. “D-dal…..baby wake up.” He shook the man next to him. 

“Gee it's late…..” Dallon mumbled as he turned on his side. Gerard screamed suddenly in pain. “W-what's wrong Gerard, baby speak to me.” He jumped up to see tears in his husband’s eyes while he was holding his stomach. 

“T-the baby…….I-I think he’s coming…..oh HE’S COMING NOW!” Gerard screamed as he felt another contraction. 

“Okay okay calm down just let me throw on some clothes then I'll take you to the hospital.” Dallon jumped out of bed. He rushed as he heard more cries from his husband.

“Baby t-this doesn't feel right…..W-what if something wrong!?” Gerard started to panic. And when he panicked, then he started hyperventilating. Which was bad for the baby. 

Dallon rushed over and held his face in his hands. “Gee sweetie you gotta calm down. I promise you everything will be just fine. I'm gonna take you to the hospital and we're gonna welcome our little bear into this world. And we're gonna live happily ever after. Alright?” He told the crying man.   
“Alright.” Gerard giggled through the tears. He then kissed the tall man. Dallon could always calm him down. Suddenly he gasped again. 

“Baby what's wrong?” Dallon looked him over. Gerard pulled back the covers to see the wet spot on the sheets. 

“M-my water broke…...OH GOD DAL!” Gerard cried as he felt the contractions come more often. 

“Shh here we go. We're going sweetie don't cry. That's normal alright?” Dallon reassured him as he carried him downstairs to the car. He grabbed their hospital bag on the way out. They were in the car and Dallon started the ignition. 

“Dallon-”

“Gerard everything is going to be fine. So no more doubts.” Dallon smiled as he gripped his husband’s hand. The red haired man smiled back. They held hands all the way to the hospital.

Dallon ran inside carrying a crying Gerard. He was having another contraction. “Please nurse, I'm Mr. Weekes and this is my husband Gerard. Can you page Dr. Groves for us. She’s expecting us.” He explained as he tried to keep calm for the both of them. 

“Wow you're a whole two weeks early Mr. Weekes. Looks like that little guy is pretty feisty.” The nurse smiled as she typed away at the computer. 

“I’LL SHOW YOU HOW FEISTY HIS MOTHER IS IF YOU DON'T GET ME TO A ROOM!” Gerard yelled at her. He was in too much pain at the moment to make small talk. 

“Oh please forgive me sir.” The lady said before she quickly paged their doctor. “Paging Dr. Groves to operating room 12, paging Dr. Groves to operating room 12….if you two would follow me.” She told them as she came from behind the counter with a wheel chair. 

“No, Dally please can you-” Gerard sniffed into his neck. 

“Don't worry Gee, I'll keep you safe in my arms baby.” Dallon kissed him. The nurse agreed and walked them down to the OR they were gonna be using. There were nurses waiting and ready to go. They prepped everything for Gerard as Dallon got changed. 

“Hello guys how are we feeling tonight?” Dr. Groves came in shortly after some time. 

“I've been better doctor.” Gerard grit his teeth as he held his stomach. Dallon frowned slightly to see his beloved in so much pain. 

“Don't worry honey we're gonna fix you right up.” The Doctor patted his shoulder and smiled. And that small touch seemed to calm him down a little. She was really great at her job as well as bedside manner. 

Gerard was then laid back as they inserted an I. V to administer the anesthesia. He soon calmed down once his body became numb. 

“Now let's do a final check to make sure this little guy is aligned right. Also that’ll give you extra time to be sure the drugs have taken effect.” Dr. Groves said as she did a quick ultrasound of the baby. “Good he’s just fine. I guess it's showtime folks.” She cheered as she pushed the machine aside. The nurse quickly wheeled her tools over. 

“Baby we are gonna be daddies.” Dallon kissed Gerard’s hand and even though he couldn't feel it, he smiled. 

“I'm mama bear and your daddy bear remember?” Gerard corrected him.   
All while they were talking the doctor had made the incision and started pulling their baby out. 

“He’s a cute little guy even through all the blood.” Dr. Groves joked as she finished taking him out. They laughed. 

A few minutes had past. And they had yet to hear the baby cry. Or make a noise at all. 

“W-why isn't he crying? Dal why can't I hear him?” Gerard cried as he tried to crane his neck over the sheet blocking his view. 

“Shh calm down sweetie. I'll check it out.” Dallon reassured his husband. He then walked over to see Dr. Groves performing CPR on their baby. “W-what is-”

“Doctor…” One of the nurses whispered. It was bad news he could tell just by her hushed tone. Dr. Groves turned around with tears in her eyes. 

“D-dallon I did all I could, but…”

Dallon saw her mouth moving, but he couldn't hear the rest of her words. It felt like someone had took the oxygen from the room. He felt like he couldn't breath. The lights seemed to all blend together. Tears ran down his face. 

“Dallon please you gotta breath for me. You're having an anxiety attack.” The Doctor said as she rubbed his back. He wasn't even sure when she had got near him. Everything blanked out for a few minutes. Then it hit him, he still had to tell his husband. He slowly turned back and went to his side. 

“Dal please tell me what's going on, w-where’s our baby boy!?” Gerard pleaded with him. 

“D-don't worry sweetie. E-everything is going to be alright….l-little bear is asleep. A-and you know how much babies need their rest Gee.” Dallon explained as he held his face tight in his hands. The tears and tone of his voice told Gerard everything he needed to know and dread. 

“B-but why…...w-why I…we…..WHY DALLON!?” Gerard screamed as water poured from his eyes. His husband had no answers he just held him tight. They cried with their foreheads pressed tightly together. The Doctor sadly sewed Gerard back up while they broke down. She had to fight back the tears as well. 

They were later on moved to a room. The couple remained quiet as they sat in a dark room. Dallon had already called the family and told them not to come. It was too sad of an occasion for them to have to deal with so many people. They just wanted to be left alone. Gerard just stared at the wall while Dallon held his hand. It hurt just to talk. So they didn't.

A nurse soon came in. She was from the OR. “I-I thought this would help ease some of your pain possibly.” She said sullenly. The nurse then handed them a small bundle in a blanket. She then left to give them time alone. 

It was their baby dress in a diaper, blue cap, and wrapped in a baby blue blanket. Gerard just stared at his beautiful face. He had his cheeks and lips. With Dallon’s nose and thick eyebrows. They didn't even get to see what color those pretty eyes were. Their precious baby unable to even take his first breath before God had called him home again. 

Gerard just broke down and held him tight to his chest. He was his sweet little bear. Dallon cried as he held them both. His family torn apart by this great loss. They kept asking themselves why such a thing would happen to them, but they would never get their answer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dallon and Gerard are trying to cope with their lost 
> 
> Too bad they're bad habits that aren't really working.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Fruit babies!
> 
> I'm going through some stuff nowadays and it's been preventing me from writing...but I have this written a few chapters in advance. I'm trying hard to plan this story out. 
> 
> Hopefully in time I will be writing again. So don't worry too much, if anyone is even worried about me at all. Anyhoo enough of my depressive life.
> 
> Enjoy.

One Year Later:

“So did you two try the exercise I suggested?” Dr. Mueller asked calmly. He was an older gentleman with slight gray that dusted his hair. Glasses and a short beard. Why did all therapist look the same? Was it like a uniform requirement to look like a heartless snob who could care less about people or their problems?

“No doctor we didn't do the exercise.” Gerard answered. Slight annoyance in his voice. He was once a happy man, well before that incident. He was now sad all the time. His body had become thin from lack of food or rather his bulimia. His red locks hung in his face, just as limp as him. His brown eyes were lifeless and his skin was pale. As if he was dying on his feet. Well he felt himself die internally that day so why not make the outside match the inside. 

“And why not?” The Doctor asked. 

“I don't know why don't you try asking Mr. Know it all over here.” Gerard huffed as he crossed his arms. 

“Just because I don't see the point in this doesn't mean I know everything Gerard!” Dallon snapped back at him. He used to be a kind man before that incident changed everything. He was now angry and short tempered all the time. He hate himself and the world that took his little bear from them. His blue eyes were now dark and his angel like features now transformed into something like a demon. His lips stuck in a permanent scowl. His only comfort came from pills. 

“Well I do see the point! Unless you have no interest in fixing our marriage.” Gerard countered. He was fed up with his husband’s stubbornness.

“Yeah just blame me like you always do. See that's our problem, you're always so quick to point the finger at everyone but never wanna take some responsibility!” Dallon yelled at him. He hated his husband’s attitude.

“OH SO YOU THINK THIS IS MY FAULT!” Gerard screamed with tears in his eyes. 

“I DIDN'T SAY THAT, BUT YOU NEVER TAKE ANY BLAME WHATSOEVER. YOU JUST PIN IT ALL ON ME!” Dallon roared back at him. 

“BECAUSE YOU PROMISED ME IT WAS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT!” Gerard cried as he stood up. 

“WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WAS DEAD A MONTH BEFORE YOU EVEN GAVE BIRTH!” Dallon yelled with angry tears as he jumped to his feet as well. They just glared at it other. So much pain and hurt between them. 

“HEY HEY! Let's calm down and try this again if you two would please sit down.” Dr. Mueller suggested as he got some Kleenex to help them wipe away their tears. They turned away from each other, but sat on the couch as instructed. “Good now Dallon why don't we try the exercise here instead.” He said once they calmed down. 

Dallon sighed because he felt it was stupid, but he wasn't paying this guy just to look at him. So it was at least worth a try. “Gerard would you like to go out for some food or something?” He said deadpan. He never said he'd put forth much effort only just try. 

“Really that's all I get?” Gerard looked over at the tall man. “Unbelievable.” He sighed and rolled his eyes. Dallon frowned and was about to get upset again. 

“Well you could-”

“What Gerard means is that you didn't make it sound loving at all. Like you had little interest in spending time with him.” Dr. Mueller butt in. He wanted to prevent another fight if possible. They’ve done nothing, but argue the whole time they’ve been seeing him. Which was about ten months now. 

“Well maybe I don't. I mean he’s already my husband so why bother right?” Dallon asked the doctor. His eyes seemed so full of rage. 

“Well maybe I won't be your husband much longer with that kind of attitude.” Gerard frowned at him. 

“Now guys let's try to stay civil. At least for the moment anyway. Now Dallon why not try to evoke those feelings you had when you first asked Gerard out on a date. I feel this will help you bring back the love that seems to be fading from your marriage.” Dr. Mueller explained. He really wanted to keep these two together. It was a tragedy that happened and that single event has completely destroyed their relationship.

Dallon looked down. His posture showed much sadness now. “It's hard to go back to four years ago doctor….we’ve changed a lot since……..” He tried to hold back the tears. Just the thought of it made him want to break down. “Gerard has completely shut me out doctor…..he’s very cold now.” He sniffed as he turned away to wipe the stray tears on his face. 

“I'm cold!? Well what do you expect when all I have for comfort is some bull who rages out at everything…..I feel like you hate me now….a-and I….” Gerard cried. “I'm sorry I can't do this today.” He cried as he rushed out of the office. 

Dallon only stood and sighed. 

“Maybe it's best if we stop early today. Why don't you just try to understand each other's pain. And we can discuss your progress next week.” Dr. Mueller said as he got up and patted Dallon’s shoulder. 

“Yeah……” Dallon sighed and walked out. Not even a thank you or a good day to the man. He was tired of trying. He found Gerard crying and smoking in the parking lot. “Gee-”

“Don't…..” Gerard kept his back to him. Dallon frowned. The red head seemed to not like the nickname anymore. “W-what if it's true…..what if it's my fault? I mean maybe I forgot to do something….o-or maybe I did too much or-” He turned towards him. 

“Don't talk like that. It was neither one of our faults.” Dallon told him as he pulled him into a hug. 

“Then why couldn't we have him! W-we're good people, we would've loved him more than anyone in this world…..TELL ME DALLON WHY DID GOD TAKE MY LITTLE BEAR AWAY FROM ME!?” Gerard cried hard as he pounded on his husband's chest. Dallon just held him tight. Tears streaming down his face. He had no answers. He only wished this pain would finally go away so they could be happy again. 

~

Their dinners were silent now. They used to talk and laugh about their day, but not anymore. The only sounds were the clanking from the silverware hitting the plates. They barely even made eye contact.

“So….umm about tomorrow…..are we still going to go through with this?” Dallon asked. 

“Of course we are Dallon. He’s your son or do you hate him now too?” Gerard glared at him. 

“I never said I hated you and I damn sure don't hate our son! I just….oh forget it.” Dallon stood up to leave. 

“No tell me why don't you wanna go, don't we own him that much!?” Gerard demanded to know. 

“Oh you really wanna give me that crap huh?” Dallon stormed over into his face. “WELL FINE YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I DON'T WANNA VISIT HIM, MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE EVERYTIME YOU GO THERE YOU HAVE A BREAK DOWN AND TRY TO KILL YOURSELF! I ALREADY LOST HIM, I CAN'T LOSE YOU TOO GEE!” He screamed as he threw their dishes to the floor. Gerard covered his mouth as he flinched at his husband's outburst. “I-I gotta go…” He then ran upstairs. 

Gerard cried harder on his hands. He threw his plate on the floor and went into the kitchen. He poured him a big glass of bourbon. Liquor was the only thing that made him feel less empty inside. He drank it down and his head had flashes of that sleeping baby in his little blue cap and cover. Gerard fell to his knees and cradled the bottle and cried his eyes out. 

Dallon had run to the bathroom and found his prescription of Vicodin. He popped two pills with water from the faucet and he just sat on the floor as he waited for them to take effect. He remembered Gerard’s happy tears when they first found out they were gonna have a baby. And then he saw those horrible tears as his husband screamed in the operating room after he told him that their baby died. The noise drove him mad, he cried as he tried to block out the sound. 

This had become their lives now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let me know what you think so far. I could really use the feedback right about now. Good or bad, but hopefully good.
> 
> And don't forget to leave a kudo.
> 
>  
> 
> Peace out.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow.......now that's what I call one hell of an opening act am I right? 
> 
> *crickets*
> 
> Yeah that was kinda harsh wasn't it? Well I hope you keep reading anyway. 
> 
> Kudos are greatly appreciated, but I would love to hear your feedback so if you made it this far how's about telling me what you think. 
> 
> Stay safe my babies.


End file.
